Pffft. Was in such a rush to leave the clubhouse that i left my laptop charger there. Can't update much now. =/

Good news is that my song's melody is making progress thanks to zhiwei and andy.. whee~ n.n

1st song i have done for MP, hope it goes well.. if it even makes it in time.. MP is like a week away >.>

Ah yes.. the dreaded Monday is upon us again. Weekends, oh weekends. Where forth art thou weekends? Thou hath past too quickly.

Ok, enough of the medieval talk. Rainy weather today. Cold and wet. Wished i could stay in bed all day. Thought i could, then i realised it was monday. I guess that's what you call wishful thinking. Figures.

Overcame by this weird sense of enlightenment on the bus. Seriously weird even in my view. I was just standing there listening to the music playing on my handphone. You know when one song ends, there is this short period of silence before the next songs plays right. Well, at the exact moment, i heard a man say, in a annoyed tone might i add," Must let people sit right?" He was of course, referring to another passenger who had placed a pile of newspaper on the sit next to him.

The whole situation was rather amusing to me. The words," Must let people sit right" kept going round and round my head, for what reasons, i haven't a clue. Ok, this is going to sound weird. As the words was going round my head, one of the words changed by themselves, and it became," Must let people go right".

Must let people go right.

Must let people go right.

Must let people go right.

Like a broken record, those 5 words were repeating themselves. I was wondering, what was my mind up to, when i came to the realisation that, people can be replaced with another word. Her.

"Must let her go right."

I have no idea how to describe how i felt when it hit me. It's like.. like a kid who just solved his first trigonometry question.

I should let her go? How much? Totally? Partially? How am i to let go? I will feel more at ease with myself.. if i do?

I'll just take one step.. and see how it goes..

Damn.. i never knew i could be this lazy. Zero updates for 6 days straight. Sheesh..

Continuing from where i left off the last entry..which was monday afternoon. Right.. after EM3B lecture, i went by the clubhouse as usual. Strangely though, there was no one around. I thought they could maybe be setting up the booth and stuff, so i headed to the atrium.

Fate has a funny way of working sometimes.

As i neared the atrium, i realised there was someone i knew walking towards my direction. Even though my memory bank had made a positive ID of the person in front of me, my brain could not register it as possible. She was truly the last person i expected to bump into around school. Now.. why would i think that.. she is ,after all, still a student of NP, so the odds of me seeing her around in school, no matter how astronomical, was still likely. I guess, i just didn't realised the odds would work in my favour that day.

We talked for awhile, like maybe 2 minutes? She was heading home, and asked if i was going for another lesson. I told her i was checking too see if anyone had set the booth for SCC ticket selling yet. As we were talking, i noticed she was in a good mood, smiling away as we talked. To see her smile, i was really glad for her. I really hope that her happiness will last, and for her to smile always.

you look so beautiful when you smile.


Tuesday. Was a little late for French class... again. Had to do 26 push-ups. I swear, by the time i'm done with French at the end of the semester, i would have done enough push-ups to develop my arm muscles. Had a written test today. Scored 13/20. I guess it was good enough that i passed, but i knew if not for the small mistakes here and there, i would have gotten at least 15 instead.

Went down to clubhouse after class. Steve was already there, disturbing ziqin as she tried to nap. He was like complaining about his stomach cramping yet ziqin didn't want to.. err.. do a 'check-up' on him. In which ziqin replied, and i quote,

"If i touch you, you will say that i'm horny."

That seriously deserved a big L-O-L. I left them to their hanky-panky as i went through the score of 'Moonlight Sonata'. I had printed them out, so it was easier for me to read and 'translate' the keys myself instead of always relying on jiayi or steve. The 2 new bars i'm learning is kind of tricky to get. I was thinking of typing it here, but i don't even know how i should go about doing it. So yeah.. forget it.. me still needs plenty practice.

Shannon came by the clubhouse too, followed by sean, and the 2 music maesters began to jam. Shannon, as usual, was playing with godly skills on the drums while sean was being godly himself on the bass, and the electric guitar. I sort of picked up a new beat from shannon, but as always,i have no idea what genre it is. I did ask shannon where i should go if i really wanted to pick up learning the drums. He introduced to me a place called 'School of Music Clef' (i think..), located at Suntec City... as long as i had a budget of around $500 for a 3 months course. Now i have another reason to get a part-time, but how am i to get one? The concept of getting a job is quite alien to me.. >.> *sighs*


Wednesday.

As yes.. wednesday. 2 words.
Bad day.
or maybe 'emo' day...? =/


Thursday. Happy Deepavali!
Personally, it was happy sleeping day for me. A day to catch up on all the restless nights.


Friday. Celebrated jiayi's birthday in the clubhouse. Simple one though. Small cake. Small amount of people. Small.. erm.. presents? Right... anyway, i was the photographer for the event. Been awhile since i took pictures for anyone. I must say, my photography skills has declined alot. Sorry for the blurry pictures jiayi and chien wen. After lots of solo shots, group shots and random shots, i felt that the clubhouse was.. too lively for me. Everyone was doing something. Jamming, cake-eating, talking, hamster staring, homeworking and stuff. I just felt that i needed to be alone, so i went outside by myself. It was quiet once i was outside, and there was a gentle breeze blowing. The atmosphere was so peaceful and serene, exactly what i needed. Although my choice of location needs careful consideration. I was 'discovered' by huihui, huiyi, ken and fun there. Looks like i need to change my little hiding corner to someplace else..

Went back to the clubhouse at around 7.30 in the evening to practice the 6/8 beat of Larry's song. My ghost note and accenting is not very obvious. Really need to improve on it. Also, his song's signature changes from 6/8 to 4/4 twice. Now that needs even more work. Gonna take every chance i have to practice in the clubhouse. It's not just for Larry's song, if i ever want to improve on my drumming, i have to keep jamming and jamming... and jamming. It won't be easy, not nothing in life ever is. I don't want to give up something i want to do. This is my dream, and i'm going to pursue it to the end, no matter what.

Oh yeah.. steve asked me to perform his song, 战神, for the concert audition. Generally speaking, 战神 is a rock song, and i have said before that rock is something that i can play, so i'm going to play my best for steve.

But.. what happens if it makes it to the concert?


当你走的时候，
回头说一声：“别想我。”
虽然你我知你在开个玩笑，
但是我的心里在想：
“那是不可能的，
因为在我心里,
随时都在想着你"

As per every monday afternoons, i'm now at the school library. Somebody else was at my usual sit though, so had to shift 1 row down. My new sit doesn't face a clock on a pillar like where i used to sit. =/

Woke up in the morning an hour later then planned. I still had time to prepare, but i wanted more time so i don't have to rush as much. Oh well, i'm already used to things not going my way. I was already done bathing and had just worn my pants when i felt this cramp in my stomach. The pain slowly intensified and it got so unbearable. By then, i already knew what was happening. Must be something i ate last night not agreeing with my stomach. I had to like crawl to the toilet and carry on the business. It was a long 15 minutes in there. The cramps and pains were unbelievable. If guys had periods, that was probably how it would feel like. Maybe even worse. It was so bad i almost didn't make it out to school.

By the time i was done preparing and reached the main road, it was already 7.30 a.m., no thanks to my stomach. Half an hour between 2 bus journeys, not inclusive of waiting time? I don't think so. No choice, had to take a cab. Peak period just started too. Whoop-dee-doo. Bus driver was cranky, and i mean cranky. Ran into traffic jams on the way to PIE. I was like, yea kind of expecting it, so it didn't bothered me much. Couldn't say the same to the cabbie though. He was like grumbling and complaining and whining and whining and on and on and on. Kind of pissed me off. If you don't want to deal with morning jams, then i would suggest for you to kindly refrain from driving your cab in the morning. I'm sure that will be real helpful. Seriously. Pffft.

Lab with the P2's wasn't that bad, granted Boonliang and Dailou was there with me. Apparently they were absent from last week's practical, so they had to fill in with the P2's today. Lucky me. Though i'm pretty certain that i would have to enter the lab without seeing anyone i know the next time i step through those lab doors.

ETE lecture was right after lab. There was presentations and a little of teaching. Presentation wise, i was supposed to group with some guys from P2. Last week one of them told me he would inform me again when they knew what they were going to do for the presentaion, and today they presented their work without me. Nicely done. Teaching wise, i couldn't make head or tail what the spectacled guy in the collared shirt was talking about. Figures, missing out on that 1 tutorial last week to for some last minute practice for Monthly Performance cost me. I thought i was already falling behind from the class a little. Now i'm positively sure. Looks like this is going to be a long semester for me. Heck of a long one.

12:53 p.m.. EM3B lecture coming up at 1:00 p.m.. Still holding on to the hope of bus serives within Ngee Ann. A guy can wish, can't he? Gotta scoot, shall rant more later. Hopefully.


Achieve your happiness.

Went by the clubhouse today. I don't know why i went there, especially since i didn't really have the mood to go since last night's happenings, but the fact was that i did drop by. If i hadn't, i wouldn't have met huijia there.

I was so surprised when i saw here came up the stairs, having no idea that she would actually come back to NP. She had been very busy ever since her attachment started, and i haven't seen her in a long time, the last being her birthday, which was around one to two months ago. Turns out that she was there for a main commitee meeting, an important one at that, so she couldn't miss it.

Anyway, i waited for her till the meeting was over, which was around 8-ish. Went by KAP for her to buy Mcdonald's for dinner before taking the bus back together. On the bus, she talked about her stuffs, sort of like an update of what has happened thus far.

I was glad that i got to meet huijia today, there was so much that i wanted to say, to get off my chest, but when she asked about me, i didn't so much at all. I don't know why i did not relate what i was facing to her. Obviously there was alot of stuffs going on, but i didn't understand why i had not opened up to her. I kept telling myself to talk to somebody soon, but when i met the only person whom i could share my problems with, i just clamped. Perhaps i wasn't ready.. when will i be i wonder..

when will i ever stop feeling sorry for myself.